Leave Amanda Alone

Ah, the early 2000's. I vividly recall one of my very first ventures onto the internet - this was before I frequented the "Polly Pockets" website to play awful G-rated games - it was on our now-rustic family PC and I went to amandaplease.com, because Penelope Taynt (who I later learned was Amanda in a wig - 10-year-old mind blown) told me to. Then I sat in the office chair for an hour waiting for a 30-second clip to load and doing absolutely nothing else. I was so happy. I got to watch this pixel-y little video of their parody of "The Brady Bunch," the one where Alice is a man in drag. I was mousy and socially retarded and had all of the defining features of pre-pubescence as well as somehow, tragically, size 10 feet. Those were the days.

Remember "What I Like About You?" What a good show. How in love did you fall with Henry when he said that he'd propose at the dump?

The thing about Amanda was that she was an icon for the rest of us. She was unique and funny and true to herself - that was the best thing about her.

Now, see, my webcam does not work in the sense that it does not record video properly. All I end up with is a video of myself getting increasingly faster with audio that stays at the normal speed. Otherwise, I would have put on a long blonde wig and rolled around in my sheets dramatically. Alas, technology fails me and I must stoop to the written word and deprive the internet of five minutes of me trying to achieve the most flattering webcam face-angle and admiring my own hair.


Leave Amanda alone.

As the Season 2 Finale of "Sherlock" taught us, what the press reports is not necessarily true. Now, to clarify, I'm not saying that Amanda didn't throw a bong out of the window of a high-rise,* among other things - there's just no way for us to know the whole story. (Although any story with a flying bong is usually at least entertaining.)

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind today instead of the online exam for my last summer course. As much as I'm predisposed to harshly judge people who pierce their cheeks, (WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT???) I hope Amanda finds her way and that I never have to hear her rap.


*Note: Add "hit by falling bong" to Worst Obituaries Ever list.